Mentors Galore

Mentors...Not just people who tell you what to do or who’s every move you follow exactly, but the people who ask you the tough questions, the ones who always seem to have that golden nugget of advice or different perspective you need. Maybe they are the ones who tell you “no, you’re not crazy – let’s talk this out.” Or the one’s who believe in you more than you believe in yourself. Maybe they are the only ones who will “give it to you straight.” They could be older or younger or your same age, a teacher or friend or parent or anything else, of any background or culture, near or far, from any part of your life. But they are the people that you know for certain help make you a better version of yourself.

We’d like for you to reflect on your experience with the models and mentors in your life.

• What makes your experience with those individuals so meaningful?
• How did you find or attract those mentors?
• How might you bring new mentors into your life as your life changes and you move into new phases of your personal leadership journey?
• And then… who are you mentoring?

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To me, mentors are those people that are truly invested in your success. You can tell they care about you and your journey through life. They model leadership on a daily basis and can support you in your goals. You might not always like the advice they give because it may be challenging, but a mentor always has your best interest at heart. They can get you through those "my world is ending" moments, using their seemingly infinite wisdom and nuggets of knowledge to bring you back to reality. They can provide much-needed inspiration and leave you feeling as if your ready to conquer anything.

I've been lucky to have a number of mentors in my life, most of which have come from my sports experiences. Growing up, the only mentors that I can distinctly identify, other than my parents, are coaches. Coach Longanecker, my baseball coach from ages 7-12, and Mr. Shaw, my basketball coach and social studies teacher during 7th and 8th grade, had a significant impact on my life. They taught me so much more than just how to be a better player; they taught me how to be a better teammate, a better leader, and a better person. I learned the arts of teaching and coaching from these mentors and have adopted them as passions of my own. 


My experiences with basketball at Ohio State have led me to find two more mentors. Thanks to my rock star academic advisor,  I enrolled in OSU's Coaching Basketball class as a sophomore. This class was taught by Coach Pete Gaudet who, at the time, was the Video Coordinator for the Ohio State Women’s Basketball Team. Throughout the duration of this class, I gained an increased affinity for the game of basketball and established a relationship with Coach Gaudet, seeking his mentorship for career and personal matters. The following summer, while attending the LeaderShape National Institute with other Ohio State students (also thanks to the urging of my rock star advisor), I met Coach Patrick Klein—an Assistant Coach with the Ohio State Women’s Basketball team. Patrick helped me obtain a position as a student manager for the OSU Women’s Team at the beginning of my junior year, allowing me to work beside him on a daily basis and seek his mentorship regularly. 

Although I will most likely be leaving all of these mentors behind as I continue my education/start my career elsewhere next year, I am not worried about finding new mentors. I know that wherever I go, I will find plenty of people that are more than capable of providing positive mentorship. I do recognize that in order to have a mentor in your life, you have to be open to mentoring – you have to be willing to be a follower and to learn from someone. You also have to take an active role in seeking that mentorship; go to the person for advice and share both your successes and failures with that person so they can support you fully. I truly look forward to seeing where I land in the next phase of my life and to developing new, meaningful relationships with the people I encounter.

I realize how fortunate I am to have experienced meaningful mentorship throughout my life, and that mentoring others is the perfect opportunity for me to pay it forward. Luckily, my involvement in TKE and my time coaching basketball have provided ideal platforms for me to serve as a mentor. In TKE, I've been able to mentor my two "littles", John and Robby, as well as a number of other brothers, some younger than me and some my own age. I have been able to share valuable lessons from my various life experiences and provide advice in regards to TKE, Ohio State, campus involvement, and much more. As a basketball coach, I have the opportunity to mentor young athletes, teaching them valuable lessons about basketball and life. Having served as an assistant coach for two AAU basketball teams and as a coach at several summer basketball camps, I have found that one of the most enjoyable aspects of coaching is developing relationships with the kids. As a coach, there is no better feeling than watching a child succeed (in basketball and in life) because of the skills and knowledge you taught him/her.

Above are two pictures of me with my littles, John and Robby. Below is a picture of the AAU team that I coached last year, the Capital City Comets.

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Can You Spare Any Change?

This week's in-class assignment: Create positive change...go! Those are pretty much all of the instructions we received before being thrust into the world with one partner and one hour to accomplish our task. Eric and I had a quick brainstorming session while walking across campus, disposing of ideas for free hugs, High Street trash clean-up, and a free lunch giveaway along the way. We decided to capitalize on Eric's outgoing nature (as well as his set of glistening golden pipes) and set out to find a place with lots of people and no easy escape route. Chipotle proved to be the perfect destination. Our goal was to brighten people's days and remind them of how blessed we all are to attend such an amazing University by signing Carmen Ohio as a group. We got a number of people to join in, and definitely left that Chipotle a happier place. Check it out...

Singin' at Supper

Because my singing makes people want to cry in agony rather than smile with happiness, my preferred method of creating positive change was through their stomachs. After spending a little time in the Union, we headed to the nearby UDF to buy a bag of candy. Well... UDF doesn't sell bags of candy so instead, we made a strong investment by purchasing a $1.79 box of Oatmeal Cream Pies. It took a lot of self-control to not eat one of these childhood favorite snacks on the spot, but luckily we made it to the Resource Room in the Union with a full box to share. I put all of my energy and spunk on display as I gave away these delectable goodies to anyone that would take them off my hands. This “random act of kindness” certainly did not go unnoticed, even for those that did not want an OCP, with lots of smiles being shared as I walked out of the room. I hope these onlookers took our advice and spread some of their happiness to others, thus increasing the impact of our positive change. 

Oatmeal Cream Pay-It-Forwards

Our last attempt at creating positive change did not go as well as we had hoped... We brought the other members of our class in on our secret, and decided to sing another rendition of Carmen Ohio on a bus back to class.  Well, these CABS riders did not feel the desire to join us in song like those in Chipotle had (or maybe we are just really, really bad singers) but at least we had fun doing it. I am hopeful that these people were at least smiling on the inside and that they realized, if only for a minute, that life isn't all that bad :)

CABS Full o' Carmen 

Messin' With Strengthsquatch

Not able to attend the Annual Conference on Leadership and Civic Engagement? Once you’ve been excused by Mel and Adam, go ahead and complete this alternate assignment instead. (Due March 5th). We like to call it #Strengths.

Based on what is outlined in Chapter 8 about ways to develop leadership using Strengths in college, discuss the following in your blog:

• Which of the opportunities outlined in the chapter have you taken advantage of already in college? Which of the opportunities are ones you would like to try?
• What can you do to be more Strengths focused in your leadership practice? Think about how your five themes weave together to influence your leadership.
• Find another student leader from a different organization who knows about Strengths and have a conversation. How have they used Strengths in their leadership practice? How can each of you help your peers in student organizations begin to think about leadership from a Strengths perspective?

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Let's be honest, how many people do you know that have taken the StrengthsQuest assessment that DON'T love it? Well, I have met a whopping 0 people during my time at Ohio State that don't jump for joy whenever Strengths are mentioned in casual (or leadership-based) conversations. Not to say that these people don't exist somewhere out there, but they are about as rare as hitting a hole-in-one and getting struck by lightning.... in the same day. Basically, Strengths are great. And because everyone is just dyyyyying to know, my top 5 Strengths in order are: 

1) Competition 

2) Maximizer

3) Communication

4) Significance

5) Woo

When reading through the 10 opportunities for leadership development that were outlined in this chapter, I had a specific experience come to mind for each one. Some of the opportunities that stood out most to me are:

#2 Leadership development and the classroom experience: Ever had Amy Barnes as a professor? If not, you better get on that before you graduate. She's the bomb.com.

#3 Leadership development and class selection: Uhhhh, hello? We have a Leadership Minor....and it's awesome.

#5 Leadership development in athletics: Let's be honest, this is pretty much my life. Whether it's student-managing the Women's Basketball team, coaching high schoolers in AAU tournaments, working summer basketball camps, or playing various intramural sports, my life is consumed by athletics the corresponding qualities of leadership. 

#8 Leadership development through student organizations: Whether it's my involvement with TKE, the Women's Basketball Team, the Greek Week Steering Committee, or another group on campus, there's no denying these experiences are rife with opportunities for leadership development.

Some of the opportunities that I would like to experience more of are:

#4 Leadership development in class assignments and independent studies

#7 Leadership development in study groups

As we discussed in class, being intentional about utilizing your Strengths is not an easy task. It may be even more difficult to be cognizant of and react to others' Strengths. The biggest thing I can do to be more Strengths focused is find ways to keep Strengths prevalent in my mind. I need to write down my Strengths and put them somewhere they will be visible multiple times per week. If I see my Strengths in writing on a regular basis, they will constantly be in my thoughts, exponentially increasing the likelihood that I will put them to use in my actions and leadership opportunities. 

All of the 34 possible strengths fall under one of four categories: Executing, Influencing, Relationship Building, or Strategic Thinking. My 5 Strengths, all of which are comprised within the Influencing category, naturally interact and influence my behavior on a daily basis. Competition, my need to be the best and win all contests, and Significance, my desire to be important and be recognized, are both focused on me as an individual. Maximizer, my ability to identify and utilize the strengths of my group mates, and Woo, my love of meeting new people and winning them over, both address my everyday interactions with the people around me. Communication, my capacity to put thoughts into words and share information, incorporates how I respond to the context of circumstances and my environment. 

My friend, Scott, has also taken StrengthsQuest and, like me, is stoked about the accuracy and the potential of the findings. Scott agreed that it is hard to utilize Strengths to its fullest potential when many members of our respective organizations are oblivious to their existence and/or meaning. Scott did assert, however, that he has recognized particular Strengths in his fellow members, prompting him to initiate conversations about the principles of Strengths and how they influence organizational interactions. He is reporting mixed results thus far. I know that being aware of my own Strengths, how I am utilizing them, and how they are influencing my interactions with others is vital to my success as a leader. If I can spread some Strengths knowledge to the other members of TKE, I think we could have some seriously ground-breaking conversations and results. The potential is scary. I see what Katie said about all of Theta having taken Strengths...how do I make that happen?? I'm going to investigate that and maybe, if I can spread some more Strengths lovin' to my brothers in TKE, we will accomplish BIG THINGS in the next couple years! Hey... it could happen.

My Communities

In class, we were asked to visualize and depict all of the different communities to which we belong. As you can see, I identify with a TON of communities, but I categorized them into three distinct groups: the my family communities, my communities in Northeast Ohio (and other locational communities), and my numerous communities at Ohio State. Yes, I did color-coat my communities and the sub-communities within them... from largest to smallest it goes Red --> Blue --> Green --> Purple :)

OSU Women's Basket-Bull

PROMPT: Chapter 10 of Exploring Leadership discusses Albert Bernstein’s and Sydney Rozen’s concept of Sacred Bulls, which are defined as statements that prevent people from reaching their potential as members of corporate organizations. The authors go on to state that a sacred bull is a metaphor for an assumption we make and do not question. “They are the ideas that nobody checks or questions, because ‘we’ve always done it this way’” (p.7, Bernstein & Rozen, 1994).

1. What are some sacred bulls used by you and other members of your organization? These could be related to tasks and projects, meeting culture, who has power, the practice of blaming and pointing fingers, etc.
2. How can you reframe these sacred bulls in ways that will positively affect your membership or leadership in an organization? What can you try, who will need to be on board, and how do you begin the change process related to those things that are so ingrained in your group’s culture?

Dig deep on this one. Think about what sacred bulls are really holding you and your group back. 

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Yesterday was "Senior Day" at the Ohio State Women's Basketball game, marking the last home game for all of the program's graduating seniors (as well as another victory over that dreadful team from up north). Although my illustrious career as a student manager is coming to an end, I think is fitting to discuss the sacred bulls that I have encountered as a part of this group. 

To be honest, our "team" of managers (and in some ways, the program as a whole) has proven to be an extremely dysfunctional group at times, due in large part to the sacred bulls that exist. I can't tell you how many times I've asked a question about why we do something a certain way and the response I receive is, "that's how we've always done it." Seriously, that's all you can come up with? For me, there is no possible response that is more frustrating than this one.

There are several "sacred bulls" that I would like to address, but I will choose just two of them for the sake of all you readers...

1) The idea of seniority/longest tenured: In our program, those who have been with the team the longest and those who are juniors or seniors are held in higher regard than their fellow managers. They are often awarded the title of "head managers", selected to travel with the team to away games, given more logistical responsibilities, and usually rewarded with a stipend or other benefits. The idea of giving more responsibility to or rewarding the oldest/longest-tenured members is not necessarily a bad thing all the time. There are plenty of occasions when an older manager's experiences are beneficial, or even required, to complete certain tasks or activities. However, this is not always the case. There are numerous examples of times when a younger manager's specific skills or abilities make him/her more adept at leading peers, handling logistical tasks, etc. The other issue with using both seniority and number-of-years-with-the-team as determinants for duties and rewards is when these two factors clash with each other. For example, it is not uncommon for a junior manager to have been with the team for three years and a senior manager to have been with the team for two years. What do you do then? Which factor takes precedence? In our program, the advantage is usually given first to the manager who has been with the team the longest, then to the one with seniority if a "tie" exists; however, if these norms are changed without notice or there is variation in how much these two factors are weighed in decision making, controversy is almost a guarantee. If the biases of the head managers or supervisor begin to influence decisions, or if there is simply a change in the way things are being done but no explanation is given to the invested parties, there are going to be some problems. 

2) The blame game: Another common issue that I've experienced as a manager is deflection of responsibility/accountability and the blaming of specific individuals rather than accepting blame as a team. I think this problem stems from two places. Firstly, we divide a lot of our tasks into individual components, giving specific duties to each manager. Doing this usually means that we are working separately on tasks, rather than working together to make sure things get done promptly and properly. Secondly, the high-intensity nature of intercollegiate athletics has a lot of people on-edge about their jobs. The coaches and professional staff are all under a significant amount of pressure to preform, and a lot of that pressure gets passed down to the managers. When something goes wrong, managers are usually asked why and expected to instantly have an answer or a solution. The reality is, however, that we are just students assistants and usually don't have all the necessary information to answer these questions or demands. Also, because we see how much pressure everyone around us is under, we fear being the one that "screwed up" because we never know what the consequence might be. Nobody wants to be blamed for something going wrong, especially because these mishaps usually aren't completely our fault or circumstances aren't completely under our control.

**I apologize if my explanations are vague. I am trying to be as informative as possible without giving away too many details from specific incidents.**

Solutions: To be honest, I know I don't have the perfect solution to these problems. If I did, I would have been able to fix some of these ingrained issues during the two years I spent with the program.  I know that in order to successfully reframe these sacred bulls, ALL of the student managers would need to be on board. Currently, there is a bit of a divide between some of the managers because 1) there is a distinct separation between those who assist with film editing and those who do not and 2) some of the managers' personalities severely clash with each other, causing a number of personal conflicts. Having our supervisor, the Director of Basketball Operations, and the rest of the coaching staff on the same page would certainly be helpful as well because, truthfully, these professional members are the ones with the ultimate decision-making power and serve as the constant figure over the years as managers come and go from the program.

I spent the majority of my first year trying to understand how things worked, what I should/should not be doing, and the group norms of the 8-10 managers. I guess that is another sacred bull I forgot to mention--we do a poor job of acclimating new-comers to the requirements and expectations of being a student-manager. Anyway, I tried to discuss some of these issues on an individual basis, I tried bringing them up in a group at our monthly managers' meetings (which we haven't had since November or so), and I tried talking to my supervisor about them. I learned something from all of these attempts, and it was something I had never experienced before. I learned that this program was completely closed to the idea of implementing change....As I mentioned above,  it's a "that's how it's always been" organization. Now, I have certainly encountered resistance to change as a two-time member of TKE's executive board, but never before had I been flat out denied when trying to make improvements to the functionality of my group. I was stunned, and fairly discouraged. I eventually learned to deal with my situation (maybe a bit begrudgingly), learning that not everyone or every group is as open to change as I would like. I am sure, however, that this will prove to be a valuable lesson for my future. I doubt that I will go through the rest of my life without encountering another group that is as opposed to change as this one was. Hopefully this experience will have me better prepared to deal with this type of situation and next time, I will come out a bit more successful.

6 of the 8 managers before our game at Northwestern...happy as clams :)

Greek Week Speak

Prompt: “Think of a group of which you were a member. Using Tuckman’s Model as a framework, describe what is was like to be a member of the group in each of the four stages. Did the group experience any problems? In which stage? What did you do to resolve the problems? Have you ever know a group to dissolve itself? If yes, what were the situations surrounding this decision? Identify a group that should dissolve itself. Why do you think that they do not take this final step?”

As some of you may know, I served as the Co-President of the 2012 Greek Week Steering Committee. This group, which consisted of a 12-member executive board, was responsible for planning and executing 10 days of programming for the approximately 4000 students in Ohio State's Greek community. As a member of this group, I not only obtained a one-of-a-kind leadership experience, but also witnessed a prime example of Tuckman's four stages of group Development. Let's take a look...

Forming:  Being a member of the group during it's forming was very exciting! There was a lot of HULLABALOO (that's right, hullabaloo) and anticipation upon being selected to the Steering Committee. To be honest, I had no idea what to expect out of the experience, but I was definitely elated at the prospects of the opportunity and ready to tackle any and all challenges that lie ahead. 

Storming: Initially, our committee had a fairly short storming period. While we certainly had our fair share of differing opinions, we worked through these pretty quickly because we were established with a common goal: putting on the GREATEST GREEK WEEK EVERRRR. Looking back on the experience, however, I believe we made a mistake by rushing through this stage. We encountered some problems during our time together that stemmed from disagreements on HOW to best accomplish our common goal. This caused us to return to the storming stage a few times throughout the planning process--certainly necessary but not necessarily the most efficient.

Norming: It was very comforting to reach the norming stage, especially after having returned to storming for the second or third time. As I may have mentioned before, I am all about having a routine. Norming is essentially the discovery of a group's routine, so I felt very at ease during this stage. I think the fact that our committee worked together for nearly 6 months made this stage very easy for us. Longevity does not always lead to effective norming stages, but luckily this was the case for the 2012 Greek Week Steering Committee. 

Performing: While we may have encountered some challenges along the way, there is no doubt that we eventually made it to the performing stage. When I realized that our group had reached this phase of efficient production, I felt a sense of pride and accomplishment. We finally understood what it took to achieve success and what it felt like to, as the kids say these days, DO WORK! I knew that our jobs were not yet complete, but we were well on our way to executing an unforgettable Greek Week.

Adjourning: Following the successful completion of Greek Week, the Steering Committee naturally dissolved itself until the following year. While in the adjourning stage, we held a meeting to discuss our accomplishments and shortcomings, to provide feedback and suggestions for the following year's committee, and to enjoy the relationships we had built with each other one last time. I have never been part of a group that has purposefully chosen to dissolve itself, but I can certainly think of an example of a group that should: the cast of The Jersey Shore. In all seriousness, they are the "stars" of a terribly unentertaining television show that has no real point and serves no true purpose in life. They do not have a common goal and do not provide a positive example of morality or maturity for their impressionable audience. The reason they do not dissolve themselves is fairly simple, $$ Dolla Dolla Billz Y'all $$. They still make a pretty penny so they have no reason to quit what they're doing. I don't keep up with crappy television, but I believe their show has finally been cancelled. Don't thank MTV just yet though, I'm sure it was strictly a "business" decision. Regardless, we can all rest easy at night knowing that the world is a better place without those hooligans taking up our precious TV time.

Greek Week Executive Board :)

PS While writing this post, it dawned on me that there are a couple of metaphors that are appropriate for describing Tuckman's stages of group development. One metaphor that I found to be entertaining equates group development to the process of building a railroad. First, you must bring all the proper people and resources together (forming). Second, you must make a number of critical decisions, including where do you want the railroad to be located, will it be a commuter railroad or explicitly for the transportation of goods, etc. (storming). Next, you must lay the tracks, build the locomotives, and hire employees (norming). Finally, once the ground work is laid, the schedules are created, and the trains are on the tracks, the operation is all smooth sailing--or maybe it's smooth railing in this case... 

Either way, I think this metaphor sounded a lot better in my head than it does in writing. Whoops, SORRY 'BOUT IT!

Cousin Douglas

Assignment: Identify someone you consider to be a leader, who you also consider to be different from you in some way. Set up a time to chat with that person about their leadership experiences as they relate to the topics discussed in chapter 5 around “Understanding Others.” Here are the rules: 

1. Choose at least three concepts from the chapter as your foundation/inspiration for the questions you ask this person. 

2. On your blog, please share a) your questions, b) their answers, and c) your thoughts on the experience. For example, did they share a story that you identified with? Did they have an answer that you found challenging or contradictory? Did they say something that surprised you or made you think? Did they share any words of leadership wisdom you think others would find helpful, too? 

3. It should be clear in your blog post which concepts from the chapter you chose to focus on in your interview.

I chose to interview my cousin, Doug, because he is different from me in many ways. He is eight years older than I am and is currently preparing to graduate with his MBA from the Kellogg School of Management at Northwestern University. Once this happens in June, he will be returning to the "real world" (Hollywood, California) to work in the real estate investment industry. He is also getting married in April to the lovely Miss Barbara. As you can see from this brief description, we are most certainly at different stages of our leadership lives! 

Doug is second from the left

Anyway... 'bout that time, eh chap? Right Oh.

Individuality and Commonality

Q: How do you classify yourself in terms of sex, race, ethnicity, age, sexual orientation, religion, ability, and socio-economic status?

A: "Male, White, Mutt-Romanian/Polish/German, 29, Heterosexual, Jewish/Unitarian, Able, Upper-Middle Class"

Q: When working in a group, do you tend to notice the similarities or the differences between yourself and others? Which similarities and differences do you notice most often (sex, race, ethnicity, etc.)?

A: "I am usually looking for commonalities between myself and others. I want to find similarities and common ground so I can relate to the other members of my group. I also know the importance of recognizing and understanding the different skill sets that people bring to the table. This allows me to apply these various skill sets effectively toward solving problems."

Gender Diversity

Q: Can you recall a time when you felt inhibited by the expectations placed upon you because of your gender?

A: "Not really. I don't think that I've been disadvantaged because I am a man. Nothing comes to mind quickly at least."

Q: Which do you value more in leadership situations, intimacy or independence? Why?

A: "I value intimacy with the leaders and members of my group. This intimacy allows me to trust others to do their part and not let the group down. I also rely on the independence of my group members and their ability to carry out their various roles without supervision from everyone in the group. I think I value a balance between the two."

Q: Do you most often attribute your successes to internal factors (being prepared and capable) or external factors (others doing their part and luck/fate)? What about your failures? Why?

A: "I know when I am doing all that I can to ensure success, and when I am not. I try to avoid the feeling associated with NOT doing everything possible to succeed. I know that it is always necessary to recognize the contributions of others, but it can be extremely frustrating when your group members are not pulling their weight. I also recognize that there is an element of luck and fate that is involved in all of my successes and failures."

Cultural/International Diversity

Q: Have you learned any valuable lessons from visiting foreign countries/cultures or from working with culturally diverse/international students? What differences have you noticed in leadership styles amongst these people that are dissimilar from you?

A: "From my experiences, there is definitely a lot to be learned from other cultures. We live in an increasingly global and connected world, so it is important to recognize the differences in cultural norms, leadership styles, etc. Working with groups at (business) school has certainly opened my eyes to new cultures. I have learned that I need to know what to expect from various cultures, so I can be prepared to respond accordingly. For example, I have noticed a major difference between American students and Japanese students when it comes to negotiations. In Japanese culture, it is disrespectful to say no so, instead, they might say something like, 'this would be very difficult for us.' In American culture, this phrase would indicate that a slight adjustment to the offer is needed. However, this is the Japanese's way of saying no to your offer. This cultural difference is definitely something that I need to understand when going into a negotiation situation in order to respond appropriately. "

Q: In your experience as a leader, would you say most people fit into or differ from their specific stereotypes? How does this fact affect your decisions/actions as a leader?

A: "I would say that stereotypes are not always accurate, but they probably exist for some reason. Personally, I make sure to give people of all backgrounds the opportunity to prove themselves, one way or another. However, it is certainly true that some people fit into their cultural/religious/sexual stereotypes. If this is the case, it is hard to ignore the stereotype. Basically, the stereotype does not serve as an initial judgement, but if the pieces start to fit, then I may start to assume the stereotype is true for that individual."

Communication, Conflict Resolution, and Decision Making

Q: Do you consider yourself highly verbal or more inclined to personal, thoughtful writing? How has this positively and negatively affected you as a leader?

A: "Definitely highly verbal. This allows me to connect with others both quickly and easily. For me, writing takes longer and requires an increased attention to detail. I much prefer to express myself through speech and verbal interaction."

Q: What is your preferred method of conflict resolution? Do you tend to be more responsible and accountable or place blame on others/environmental factors? Are you typically differential to authority or confrontational with authority figures? How have your leadership experiences shaped your method of conflict resolution? 

A: "My preferred method of conflict resolution is to have compromise coupled with understanding. I like to hear both parties out, making them feel appreciated and understood. I want to show them how their thoughts are compatible and not compatible with the other opinions of the group. I think I am more differential than confrontational when it comes to authority figures. That doesn't mean that I'm not disagreeing with them, I just make sure that I'm doing so in a thoughtful and respectful way. I think the experiences from my childhood, playing lacrosse in particular, have shaped my method of conflict resolution. From these early sporting experiences I can draw parallels to examples of conflict resolution at work, school, etc."

Q: When making decisions, do you value the power of majority rule (prefer voting, etc.) or inclusion of the minority opinion (consensus)? Do you tend to consult others or engage in deep personal thought?

A: "I value a combination of both. Consensus is usually ideal but is often difficult to achieve given time restraints and the typical dynamics of large groups. I definitely identify the need for all opinions to be heard, even if we decide to vote on majority rule in the end. When making decisions as a leader, I almost always consult others. I try to hear and understand every perspective and see how this relates to my concepts of morality, efficiency, etc. I then make my decision based upon all of that. As far as personal decisions go, I still try to solicit other opinions as much as possible. For example, when deciding which job offer to accept for after graduation, I sought out more educated opinions, gathering as much information as possible before coming to a conclusion."

My Thoughts on the Experience

• Many of Doug's answers seemed to be "by the book". Take the questions about noticing similarities and differences (#2) for example; rather than choosing one option or the other, he explained why he stood somewhere in the middle ground. This is not necessarily a bad thing, but I probably could have predicted many of his answers. I may have even responded to the questions in a similar manner in order to be politically correct. 
• Like Doug, I could not quickly come up with an example of a time that I felt inhibited by my gender expectations (question #3). However, after further thought on the subject, I realized that there are many expectations placed on men that I now consider second nature. For example, men are expected to be chivalrous by holding doors for women, offering up their seats on public transportation, and by paying for a woman's meal when on a date. I am not sure that this is necessarily "inhibiting," but it is certainly something that I think is taken for granted.
• Also in the Gender Diversity section, Doug did not answer the questions as the book would have predicted. He saw value in both intimacy and independence, and was willing to attribute his successes and failures to both internal and external factors...Way to fight the norm, Dougy!
• I really like Doug's answers to the Cultural/International Diversity questions. I found his example from business school negotiations to be very relevant and insightful. I also agree with his take on stereotypes. I will even go one step farther and say that some people "live up to their stereotype." By this, I mean that some individuals may act a certain way--conforming to their stereotype--only because they believe that is the way in which they are supposed to act. 
• Finally, I think Doug's answers to the final two questions (conflict resolution and decision making) are very meaningful. I think these are great leadership ideas to share with the rest of the class... anyone else agree?!